Wednesday, March 4, 2009

My trip to Jupiter was not without incident

Well, as promised here I am back to tell you about my trip to Jupiter. I am sure many of you thought that I was kidnapped by the forces of evil, but I wasn't. I am a conspiracy man and know what these forces of evil want to do even before they know it themselves.

In my continuing quest for the truth, but mainly sensation making conspiracy theories, I discovered that the famed Area 51 is nothing but an illusion. A deception, a trick, to make people concentrate on something that is completely useless... to waste valuable resources on something that has no value. Yes, gentle reader Area 51 is but another way that the forces of evil - who wants to take over this planet - pulled the wool over our eyes. While everyone is concentrating on Area 51 with its "flying sauces/sources/saucers", and movies of autopsy on aliens and what have you, the real stuff have been going on at another place.

I can reveal now that place is Area 151, or Area One Five One, as the forces of evil call it. It is from Area One Five One that the spaceships leave and come from the earth-colonies on Mars, Jupiter, the moon and Uranus. Area One Five One is located in one of the most inaccessible places on earth, namely the North Pole and then further more it is build inside the earth, very close to the living space of the Annunaki, yes...

Using all manners of deceit, which I can't reveal here and is only available to a Conspiracy Man, I enter this humongous Area (you won't believe how big it is).

I then discovered that the space ship, the USS Jennifer Aniston, was on its way to Jupiter to make a delivery of the latest Playstation Portable to the personnel and colonists over there. I decided to hide myself on the ship to see what this is all about and also to get some Jupiterians who have been working on my nerves on some of the Internet forums.

There is nothing to report about the flight itself. The ship is as big as a normal ocean liner and just as luxurious. It uses the famed Will-Be-Was engine and make the trip in about three hours. I simply sneaked into the kitchen at night (yes, they follow the normal 24 hour earth cycle on the USS Jennifer Aniston) and made myself some meals for the next day. Then I used the toilet and took a shower, while everyone is asleep. No need for guards or anything like this here, because normally there is not crime or anything in that line on these ships. Then I went back to my hiding place where I played some games on my PSP until the next night...oh yes and also catching up on my sleep.

Jupiter is huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuggge. We didn't land on Jupiter with the USS Jennifer Aniston (why they name their ships after famous American actresses I still can't figure out.) No, we went down with a super fast space elevator. Yes, they actually have this thick cable coming down, or up (depends on your perspective) from the planet to this elevator station in the space above the planet. You get into the elevator in this station and then you push the button that say “Planet” and down you go. Boy, was I glad that I used the toilet before getting onto that elevator...whooooooooooooooooooooow...

On Jupiter itself everybody lives underground. Over the years a special Jupeterian human has been developed. They are very big. About eight feet tall and three feet broad. They are extremely strong in earth human terms, but on Jupiter they need that kind of strength to survive above ground. The gravity of Jupiter is 40 times that of earth. A normal earthling won't even be able to lift his one foot in front of the other, because his feet will be the weight of a pick up truck on Jupiter.

(by the way, FoolMoon members, these people who call themselves “Anonymous” are actually from Jupiter.)

Earth humans go straight down underground where an artificial earth-like gravity is in use. Really, people, you won't believe what NASA developed over the years, both on their own and with the help of Aliens.

In any case, these Jupiterians are being used to develop the surface of Jupiter. They are building cities, laying out farms and doing some mining. It is amazing.

Although they have been busy with this since the late nineteen fifties, they didn't even cover five percent of one percent of the planet...now you can imagine for yourself how big the planet is.

Next time I will tell of my own adventures on the giant planet, Jupiter.

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